Some times that voice you are listening to is so familiar that you are lost as to how to adjust what you are telling yourself. It feels like a broken record that keeps repeating the same defeating message over and over again.Read More
Are you interested in trying to deal with the issues you are facing in a natural way - through counselling, exercise, and eating properly? While you may know that eating healthy can affect your mental health, you may wonder if there are specific foods that can help! Glenys Bowers, a Registered Holistic Nutritionist in the South Surrey area, has some practical help for us in this area.Read More
Money. Budgets. Finances. Three words that can make almost all of us cringe inside, and most likely clam up. Money is something that we typically don’t talk about, but think about very often. Money has the power to affect our emotional health. Just like anything in our lives, if we avoid talking about money and our concerns around it, it can turn into anxiety and even depression.Read More
As you begin the New Year, you may be thinking of how you want 2018 to be different. Maybe you are the type of person that has already written out your goals and have ways of tracking your progress throughout the year. Or maybe you are the type of person that refuses to make New Years resolutions, but in the back of your mind have been pondering the ways that you could make some changes this year.Read More
You’ve just arrived home after a long day at work. You have been fighting deadlines at work, difficult people, and then that commute! As you come in your front door, you look at your kitchen and think “there’s no WAY I have energy to cook tonight!”. Or if you have kids, your mind goes to the meme that’s been making its way around Facebook “why do they want dinner every single night!”. And besides, there’s activities to get to in about an hour, or another meeting for the organization you are volunteering for. Who has time for a home cooked dinner?!
Fast forward to the end of the night, and you are in bed reflecting on your day. Do you remember what you ate? Were you able to connect with friends or family today?
What if you were able to make one change to your day so that you felt connected to your family, or were just able to stop and breathe for a few minutes, and care for yourself? One of the words that comes to my mind is a pretty trendy word right now – “mindfulness”. Some of you will read that word, and stop reading this blog, because you’ve heard it too much. Bear with me!
Mindfulness is the act of slowing down enough to focus your awareness on what is happening in the present moment, and then taking time to calmly acknowledge and then accept your feelings, thoughts and bodily sensations. For a lot of people that means yoga or taking time out of their day to meditate. However, it doesn’t have to be something that is added on to your already busy schedule. What if mindfulness was about slowing down to eat dinner at the table instead of standing in the kitchen, sitting in your car, or while watching TV? What if it was slowing down and setting aside 20 minutes to be aware of what you are eating, interacting with your family members, or taking time to appreciate how good of a cook you are?
There is a lot of research that shows that having dinner as a family on a regular basis can affect behaviours at work and school, susceptibility to eating disorders, and overall self-image. One article I found stated that engaging in family meals is viewed positively by both adolescents and parents and can be a useful tool for enhancing a sense of belonging and attachment.
So how do you make this happen? How do you cook a healthy, nutritious meal to sit down to on a regular basis? There are many ways to try this, and it really comes down to trial and error to see what might work for you.
Here are some resources that I have found that helped me at various stages in my life. My hope is that at least one might resonate with you and help you to be able to experience mindfulness, attachment and stress release as you sit down to your meals next week.
Meal planning on your own
Slow cooker recipes
Happy cooking! Let me know if any of these resources helped you, or if you have one you’d like to share!
It is midway through December. Christmas planning, Christmas shopping, Christmas celebrating and Christmas stressing feels well underway.
The season can be so much about expectations, or what we hoped for…that somehow this year will be different. I won’t spend as much. The family will get along. The kids won’t be bored. Everyone will be grateful, kind and make time for one another. It will be magical.
Read more about how to manage your Christmas expectations and capacity here!
Do you experience anxiety or stress in your life? Meeting with a counsellor can help you find new ways to cope with the feelings that arise as a result of that anxiety. These tools can help with the emotional and mental side of your experience, but it is also important to address the physical side of anxiety as well. Massage can help to manage anxiety as it has been proven to address two of the most significant symptoms of anxiety: sleep issues and muscle tension and pain.
As you probably know, both the body and mind repair and regenerate during sleep. Being deprived of sleep can affect our mental and emotional state. The areas of the brain that control our emotions, decision-making capabilities and social interactions all require sleep to repair and regenerate. When we do not get enough sleep, or do not sleep deep for long enough, we can start to lose our ability to think straight and begin to feel anxiety and depression.
Massage has been shown to improve sleep, and therefore reduce the overall symptoms of anxiety. Massage can reduce stress, and improve the ability to fall asleep and the quality of sleep in those who struggle with anxiety.
Let me introduce you to Karin Poller, who runs a home-based massage business called “Me-Time Massage”. I have asked her to share some of her information in case you are looking for a masseuse in the Surrey area.
Massage therapy has been a life-long passion of mine, to help people as part of their personal healing process such as dealing with anxiety. I know from my studies, and my own practice, how good it makes people feel and how helpful massage can be. Me-time massage is all about relaxation and pampering oneself. We create a warm, comfortable and inviting environment that is enhanced with soft music and delightfully fragrant aromas. The focus is on you and your quiet enjoyment.
I came to Canada about 14 years ago, from Colombia, where I had trained to become a physiotherapist. Today I live in Surrey, BC with my husband and two young boys. As a stay-at-home Mom, with my sons full time in school, I decided I wanted to get back to my career. I opened my own small business, as a massage practitioner, to build on my background experience and because I enjoy interacting with and getting to know people.
I also decided I wanted to focus on women only. Knowing myself how stressful life can be, including as a mom and a wife, I wanted to bring the opportunity of deep relaxation, and more personal service, to the women around me, but at an affordable price compared to the bigger spas. Having the spa in my own home allows me to provide these professional services but at a lower cost. We have a private room right beside our front entrance that has been elegantly decorated.
Depending on your specific needs, to address some stiff muscles in a particular area, or just to be spoiled for a moment, I offer:
- 1-hour full body relaxation massage, ideal for pampering
- 1-hour full body hot stone massage, to try something different, or
- 30-minute trigger-point massage, our most popular service, to focus on a problem area or if you have less time.
Whichever massage you choose, it will provide deep relaxation and stress relief – something we all need more in our hectic lives. As mentioned above, we all carry this stress in our bodies – even without knowing it sometimes, as it builds up. Even more so when dealing with anxiety or depression. Massage has many other benefits as well, including:
- creating a calming and comforting effect,
- reducing muscle pain,
- helping with getting proper sleep,
- helping to clear your mind,
- supporting good physical health, and
- providing an opportunity to spoil yourself, or someone you care about.
A recent client had this to say: “Thank you again for the wonderful healing massage yesterday. It was very relaxing, helpful and blessed me so much.” We love hearing such wonderful feedback about me-time massage, knowing that we are helping women be able to forget about the stresses of life, if just for a short while, and enjoying a moment all about them.
Whether you yourself are, or someone you know is an overtired Mom, an over-stressed professional, a wife overdue for some pampering, or all three – consider a me-time massage! Visit me on Facebook or my website www.metimemassage.ca for more information, or book an appointment today by sending me an email at email@example.com.
When it comes to Christmas, a lot of people feel like the season has become commercialized. Some of us feel like there is a pressure to perform, whether it's in how many gifts we give or receive, or how many things we do throughout the season, or how much money we spend. And then there is the pressure to give! Don't be selfish at Christmas1 Give of your time. Give your money to those in need.
A lot of times we want to balance a perceived sense of greed with an attitude of giving, but how do we start??
The Action for Kindness page on Facebook has a few practical solutions! One of them is to use a Kindness Calendar like the one pictured above. This can be used as a prompt of different acts of kindness you can perform each day of December to instill a sense of giving and philanthropy.
Another suggestion that they have is from a BBC article on creating a Reverse Advent Calendar. "People put aside a donation each day of advent, so they have a collection of goods ready to drop off in time for Christmas." People in the Lower Mainland could take the goods to the Food Bank, women's shelters such as Ishtar Transition Society, or a local church that has a donation room. Be sure to contact the charity of your choice early in the month so that the items you are purchasing are acceptable within their scope of practice.
Do you have other ways that you give back to the community in December? Share them below!
I am excited to share that I now have a second office space available. This space allows me to be more accessible to people that live and work in Surrey.
I am now available on Tuesdays at #300-15240 Highway 10 as of December 4, 2017.
If you, or someone you know would like to book an appointment, please contact me at 778-549-6334 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Connection. That word has many different meanings and connotations. It can mean that we have connected to wifi so we can use our devices. It also means that we are looking to bond with another human being.
As I meet with people, I hear the cry of their heart to want to matter to someone. We want to have a connection with family members, a girlfriend or boyfriend, a husband or wife, even just one single friend. Connection means that I matter. In a world where we are striving to connect through social media, where it feels like we matter when we get a certain amount of “likes”, what I hear is a yearning for someone to think that we are worth their time, effort and attention.
In the book, Created for Connection, Sue Johnson shares four behaviors that are key to feeling connected or attached to another person. They are: “that we monitor and maintain emotional and physical closeness with our beloved; that we reach out for this person when we are unsure, upset, or feeling down; that we miss this person when we are apart; and that we count on this person to be there for us when we go out into the world and explore” (Johnson, 2016).
In another relationship expert, John Gottman’s language, this means that we turn towards another person. We know that the majority of the time that we turn towards our partner or friend or family member, they will respond in a way that is affirming and available. Gottam notes, “each time partners (or friends) turn toward each other, they are funding…their emotional bank account” (2015).
Practically these moments would happen when, for example, we find something interesting on social media and share it with our partner. The hope is that they will turn towards us, that they will respond that they heard us. When we come home from a particularly productive or frustrating day at work, we want to feel heard by our partner by them expressing excitement or consolation accordingly.
It also means that when we are walking through our deepest and darkest moments and it feels like there is no hope at all, the people that we are connected with can sit with us in those moments. They might not have words to say, but we know that they are there and caring for us through a hug, holding our hand or reading our texts.
Some of you will read this and struggle because it feels like there is nobody in your life that fits the definition of “connection.” How do you get through that? One way is to try counselling.
While it may feel like it is a construed relationship because you are paying for services, it often is a healing relationship. If it is done right, counselling provides a safe, accepting environment, where there is no judgement and you are accepted just the way you are.
The goal of a counsellor is, strangely enough, to work themselves out of a job because you find healing and strength to move forward. They can help you learn more about yourself and what types of connection you are looking for.
If you are interested in exploring more about what connection looks like for you, or just want to have a space to be yourself, please contact me at email@example.com, 604-359-4470 or book an appointment through www.canvascounselling.com/appointments. I really look forward to connecting with you!
Gottman, J.M. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. New York, NY: Harmony Books, p. 88.
Johnson, S. (2016). Created for Connection. New York, NY: Little, Brown and Company Hachette Book Group, p. 25.