counselling in surrey, bc

Counselling is a very personal experience. This means that the methods I use are adaptable according to your personality, issues and the way that you learn.  I believe that the relationship that is built with your counsellor is one of the most important components of effecting change in your life.  If you are able to trust that your counsellor hears you, understands you, and can be trusted, then it is so much easier for you to be completely open and honest about what you are trying to work on, and be open to feedback, challenge and encouragement.

I work in collaboration with you.  If you're like me, if someone tells me to do one thing, I will quite often turn and do the opposite.  So I won't tell you what you HAVE to do.  I will walk alongside you.  I will be curious about you and who you are.  I will encourage you, challenge you, and support you as you work towards the goals that you have set for yourself.  

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I draw from the following training:

  • Trauma therapies (EMDR and OEI) - which helps people, especially those that have survived trauma or abuse in their past, to process some of their memories and experiences without having to talk about it.

  • Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 2 Training . John & Julie Gottman are the premier relationship researchers. They have identified what "master" couples have that make their relationships work, and have used that information to help you in your marriage. They believe that it is important to have a Sound Relationship House which means building a foundation of friendship and close relationship. This foundation then provides safety for having conflict and building your communication skills. The combination can be a recipe for a better and stronger marriage.

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Sue Johnson has developed this approach to couples therapy designed to help people accept, express, regulate, make sense of and transform emotion. This is a great complement to the Gottman Method as it helps couples identify what their need and emotion is underneath things like frustration over leaving your clothes on the floor.

  • When Love Hurts. This group therapy helps women to understand what an abusive relationship looks like, and to find healing and restoration for themselves.

  • Psychodynamic Therapy. This approach to therapy involves taking some time to understand how your past influences your present. While I don't believe you have to rehash everything that happened in your childhood, I do believe that it can help understand how it shaped who you are today and how you manage the events in your life.

trauma-informed approach 

So what does trauma-informed mean?  Does that mean that I am trying to dig up your hurts and pains each session?  No.  I feel it is important that I help you find tools so that you can manage the different issues that you are facing.  It also means that I help you find a way to feel confident in who you are and the people that you interact with. 

Being trauma-informed means that I will also be curious about what you have experienced in your life that was unexpected, or that you did not feel prepared for, and then to find a way to understand what happened to you. 

As we work together, it is important that you feel that we got at a pace that works best for you. So I will not rush you, and in fact may encourage you to slow down and find a way to learn and understand more about yourself.  

I believe that you are the expert on you, and it is my role to walk alongside you, encouraging you to heal, grow and stretch so that you see the value in who you are, and find a way to live wholeheartedly, embracing who you are.

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