trauma recovery counselling in surrey, bc

You are looking for help in the form of counselling because there is something that isn’t quite right. You feel like you know that there is an event that happened in your past that is now affecting your present, but you don’t know why it is still affecting you. You may be asking yourself why you can’t just get over this. Others may be saying they think you need some help because this event keeps coming up as a source of pain for you. This may be the first time that you have pictured that event as being something that might have been trauma. So what does trauma actually mean?

In my experience of working with people who have survived a traumatic experience, it can be helpful to picture that there are events that could be considered as “big T trauma” and “little t trauma”.

If you think of trauma as something that you weren’t prepared for and it changed the way that you experience life, that can encompass quite a few experiences. A “little t” trauma might be something like when you are a kid in your bedroom, and experience a thunder and lightning storm for the first time. All of the sudden you wonder if you are safe in your own house any more, and it changes your perception of life and how you function.

Compare that with a “big T” trauma. This would be something that overwhelmed you, diminished your sense of who you are, and your ability to manage your emotions. This might be something like infidelity, a car accident, divorce, sexual abuse or war. But it also might be that thunder and lightning storm because you have already experienced a number of other situations where you feel overwhelmed and unable to manage your emotions.

trauma has four key elements

Trauma counselling in Surrey, BC

  • It was unexpected

  • You were not prepared for it

  • There was nothing you could do to stop it

  • It has changed either the way that you experience life or the direction that you are heading now

    Trauma often shows up as a loss of connection - to ourselves, our bodies, our families, others, and the world around us. This can often be hard to recognize, because this loss didn’t necessarily happen all right away. It can happen slowly, over time, and you have adapted to these subtle changes sometimes without even noticing them.

some symptoms of trauma are:

  • Depression

  • Anxiety

  • Emotional numbness

  • Sleep problems

  • Anger outbursts

  • Using substances more than you’re comfortable with

  • Challenges in maintaining relationships

  • Flashbacks and nightmares

You may simply sense that you don’t feel quite right, without ever becoming fully aware of what is taking place. You may have experienced a gradual diminishing of your self-esteem, self-confidence, feelings of well-being and connection to life and others. You can feel as if you have lost a sense of control or the opportunity to have a voice in your own life. These are the hidden effects of trauma, the ones you may have kept to yourself.

The idea of exploring why you are experiencing some of these things can be overwhelming. You may feel like you know it could only help, but what happens when you lay these open for someone else to see? I get it. It’s takes bravery to expose yourself to someone else and ask for help. I believe that you’re worth it though. I can give you tools that help you manage the emotions that come up and find safety within yourself and other relationships. I believe that once you have these tools, you can then find a sense of self-confidence that you may not have had for a while. This combination then helps you process the memories and find healing so that you can begin living life the way you want to.

If you are struggling with some of these symptoms as a result of a traumatic experience, and would like some support, click the link below to book an appointment.